5 Don'ts Of Being A Good Wife
What makes a couple strong or weak? Why do so many people choose to divorce and not to marry today? When we get down to the nitty-gritty of life in romance there is no getting around it; Relationships are hard. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t have things like heartache, divorce, prostitution, and betrayals of life and love. I’ve learned a lot watching my parents relationships and their marriage, from all of my siblings pairings and marriages, and from my own personal life. Of course this is only my opinion but I think a lot of the problems women have with their men is that somewhere along the way women stopped acting like women. Whatever happened to men holding open doors? Well, whatever happened to the allure of mystery and leaving some things to the immagination? Part of making your man feel like a man is acting, behaving, and presenting yourself as a woman. His woman.
Sometimes....
In my late 20’s I have find myself engaged to the most wonderful man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing(aside from my fathers, of course) and am on a personal journey preparing to be the best wife I can be for him. I haven’t learned everything about what really sets a couple apart and “makes or breaks” you just yet, but I have learned a lot of things that are vital to a strong relationship and a lot of things a good wife SHOULDN’T do. Some of these things might seem a bit out of date or old fashioned, but sometimes getting back to the good old ways isn’t such a bad thing. Try out 1 or more of these classic behaviors for a few weeks and see how they feel! I think you (and your man) will like the results!
5.) Don’t Tell Your Husband About Housework – Okay, this is a lost though process here maybe, but you shouldn’t complain to your husband about the housework, or how difficult your day was. As tempting as it may be to fill him in on your frustration trying to dust every blind or find every mismatched sock, he doesn’t need (and doesn’t want) to hear about it. Imagine for a moment if the shoe was on the other foot, and he sat you down and told you every single frustration, road block, bill, and headache he endures during his work day and in the process of fulfilling his role to the family. At best it’d be awkward, but it’d really probably feel a lot more like you were being lectured about how hard he works for you. Sincerely put yourself in his shoes and imagine it for a moment. There’s another reason you shouldn’t tell your husband about your housework; He should just see it. He shouldn’t have to hear about it to know it got done. ;)
I had never seen such a mess! And then I cleaned your bathroom....
4.) Don’t Forget The Simple Touches – Onions, raw, on everything; Preferably red. Light on the mayonnaise; heavy on the pepper and meat. Exactly half the amount of pillows I sleep with. Pants folded into thirds, and shirts hung ONLY on hangers that don’t have open shoulder spots to catch on because he hates that style of coat hanger and they ruin all of his REALLY old t-shirts that he’s had for 15+ years. These are the little things that make a HUGE impact on my man’s day. Everyone has personal preferences, and part of being a good wife is knowing his and fulfilling them as often and as best as you can. You’d be surprised the difference it makes in his day and his disposition! It's simple, straight forward, and couldn't be easier.
3.) Don’t Be A Demanding Mom-Wife – I hate hearing women talk to their men like children. In the exact same breath of air they nagged their kids to clean their room she barks at her husband to pick up his socks. I think the reason I hate her most is because I used to be her. The commando of women who takes no slack lightly, and every mess in the house as a personal offense to herself and her task of keeping things clean. *Sigh* Look, I get it. Stains pop up and NO ONE did it. They mysteriously appear. Messes happen out of thin air, according to your oblivious family, right? It’s like they never even noticed what they’ve done. News flash: They didn’t. It’s not their job to care about that stuff unless you make it their job, and nagging(*ahem*bitching..) won’t get you there. Now true, sometimes a nag must occur, and I always warn my family now when it’s coming. It goes something like this, “We all hate nagging, but I have to point something out right now guys so here it comes…” and we all do hate my nagging, so we all try to remember not to leave that mess again. As my older children grow I don’t get mad, I simply remind them it’s their job to help clean up after themselves, and if they don’t they shouldn’t expect an allowance or any extra’s like desserts. Going through the toddler ages again with Sofie I’ve decided I’m not going to be mad this time when she makes a mess. I’m just going to clean it up, and keep showing her and having her help me clean things up, until she gets to where her sisters are. Then maybe, just maybe, she’ll be trained to clean up after herself a bit better than I did with her older sisters. Either way, I'm not going to take it personally. As for Daddy, he’s not your child. Your job is not to raise him. That’s done. Your job is to love him. There is no harm in making requests as long as it’s done respectfully. I’ve asked Mike a million and 1 times nicely to put his socks in the hamper right side out so I don’t have to turn them all as I throw them in the wash. I’ve asked nicely for the last 6 years. One day I just stopped asking. It’s not that he’s doing it to be mean, it’s not that he doesn’t care about my feelings or what I have to do to take care of him. He’s just thinking about taking his socks off. I’m kind of lucky he even gets them in the hamper(most days). Don’t be too critical, and remember, if you don’t want to hear about every hardship of his day, he doesn’t need to hear about flipping all those socks around either. The only thing worse is withholding intamacy as if it were a bargaining chip!
Wanna fool around?
I don't know, have you done your chores yet?
2.) Don’t Forget To Treat Him Like A Man – This can (and does) mean lots of things, first and foremost: Feed him. Often.
Men don’t work well when hungry.
And when you feed him, avoid serving him the same way you do your kids at the dinner table. He’s not bound to the “eat your veggies” rules that the kids are, he paid for that meal and put it on the table. He should be free to pick and choose from it as he wishes. He’s a man, he doesn’t need me to dish his plate. However, if dishing his plate means getting up and walking into another room it should be offered and you should know what he’ll really want on his plate.Don’t make him a kiddie plate, make him a man’s plate! And while you’re appreciating all his manliness, try to remember that man is in his own right still an animal. He has natures and instincts he can’t help. Don’t be a bitch when he notices an attractive female, unless he’s being a bitch about it. Odds are he’ll try really hard to pretend he didn’t notice, and that’s sweet. I think it’s only natural to feel a bit jealous, but try to keep in mind there are probably lots of times he’s looking at you just like that as your walking through the home, playing with the children, and serving his needs and you didn’t even notice it because he was pretending not to. J It’s a man thing. And speaking of man things and their attention span, this also means the first thing you thought it meant. ;)
Who doesn't like to watch their partner get more fit and flexible?!
Get your man’s attention in the way only a woman can. Wear booty shorts through the house once the kids have fallen asleep, do your housework in your birthday suit in front of him, or you could learn some erotic dancing techniques for him. And remember, if you’re willing to spend the rest of your life with him you better commit some time and energy to keeping things interesting for both of your sakes. Short skirts, kinky costumes, lovers tape, swings, whatever. Find out what your husband really wants and give it an honest try! One last note on this topic, do not ask him to get up and get you things. Unless you are pregnant (in which case the bit of walking is good for you..hint hint…) or bedridden for medical reasons you should get it yourself. It just doesn’t make him feel like a man. It’s going to make him feel like your bitch. Now that being said, if he’s going to the kitchen, no harm in asking him to grab you something, but don’t ask him to get up and go get you something. But do offer to do it for him. Yes, I know that’s a double standard. Get used to it, Sweetheart, and things will go smoother. You have them, too, you just may not realize it.
And last but not least, the number 1 thing you shouldn’t do on your mission to be a good wife…
Do not be a female dog with a tiara....
Don’t Be A Drama Queen – No one wants a drama queen, least of all a manly man. Your man doesn’t need to hear about your friends drama, (in most cases) your families drama, or your ‘can never find the right outfit to wear!’ drama. Not only is he not interested in hearing it, it could very well make you look childish in his eyes. A woman who avoids the drama, rises above it, and has a real life of her own with more mature things to worry about is far more appealing. Real men want real women, not dramatic little girls.
What other do’s and don’ts do y’all have out there for the brides-to-be?
