Can You Hear Me Now? Good....
That line is so old and cliche, it pretty much gives away and sums up what generation I came from; The emergence of cell phones.
But what the @*$# happened?!
I know, I know...I'm going to sound so old and lame for saying this but...back in MY day, if a teenager had a cell phone they were either a) a spoiled brat or b) worked their arse off to get it. Kids simply didn't have them.
I actually remember how excited we all were when Mom got the first "emergency" cell phone. It wasn't long before "emergencies" became calling Dad and seeing if we needed more milk while we were out, texting friends parents cell phones, and finally, handed off to the teenagers to take with them when they went out on their own (on rare occassion only, if it was after dark. Otherwise your arse was using a payphone.)
Like many average american families, we didn't really fathom how intertwined this little device would become in our lives, or how it would ever come to manage every aspect of our lives from our phone calls to starting our washing machine. Now, I know a vast majority of people aren't starting their washing machines with their smartphones, it was the first obscure example that popped into my head because I can actually start, manage, and download new cycles for my washer on my husbands smartphone. But they are doing random obscure life tasks with these devices, managing a washing machine is just a (terrible) example.
Sofie will NOT have a toy phone.
I still remember my first cell phone, too. Who doesn't? Well, our kids for starters...who's first cell phone was a cheeky piece of plastic that lit up and made noise and was marketed as a toddlers toy to keep baby from mom and dad's phone. Just want to say real quick...where did that get us? It got us with younger and younger children feeling like they need and should have their own cell phone. But I digress. My first cell phone was a pay-as-you-go phone from circle K that my Dad bought me for my 18th birthday. It was a great gift, because as a working single mom it was a great asset to have in case of emergencies. Or you know, if I got bored working down at the AMPM and wanted to play some snake.
Now, this phone was faaaaar from the phones we have today. The camera on my husbands phone is better than most of the cameras I had growing up, and photography was a hobby of mine! And every year they can do more and more, and seem to get tinier and tinier.
Where does it end? I don't know, and I'm not going to give myself the migraine of trying to figure it out. But I do know where it has lead. It leads to parents neglecting their children, and children in turn neglecting their own responsibilities for favor of the phone and it's charm. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. Try to understand that I am not judging anyone, I'm sure many parents are great parents and still own a smartphone, but let me explain my rationale here.
Last year my smart phone broke, as it did so often. I'm incredibly tough on gadgets. Vacation was days away, and we already had a mile long to-do-before-we-leave list, so I decided I'd worry about replacing my phone when we got home. Except, I never did. Something magical happened in the week that followed...I had a vacation. With my kids. One of my children even remarked that I was "so much more fun without the phone". At first it made me feel kind of bad, but then I realized she was totally right. The phone was often distracting me from simple things they were doing, creating an invisible bar between me and my kids where they played and I sat and "watched" while I browsed the internet and played app games, but not this time! We ran around in the grass, we played baseball (and they decided I was terrible at it! thanks girls...lol), we went to a festival, and we had so much fun together. I'm very hesitant to say this next part because I don't want to send the wrong message about my hubs or offend him, but it needs to be said. There was several times that trip when the kids and I looked over to him to share in the excitement and found him face deep in his phone. I felt the disappointment they felt, and I finally understood how having a smartphone was distracting me from motherhood. Now, that being said, my husband is a wonderful dad who puts his phone away and leaves it in his bedroom often so he can play and run around with his children! n_n
After experiencing all of this with my children without the invisible barrier between us I vowed not to replace my smartphone. I went several months without any sort of cell phone, and it was so liberating! It was really hard at first, and I know this might sound silly but I actually felt like I was having withdrawals! I'd find myself inbetween activites or bored and reaching for a phone that wasn't there. Watching other people with their phones drove me absolutely mad! Like sitting a smoker right infront of someone who's trying to quit lol, but I was happy about what I was getting from not having a cell phone - more time with my kids. My freetime back. My life.
After 1 month I thought to myself it was time to replace the phone. I thought, surely it's been long enough now and I've beat the addiction to the smartphone. And then I realized I was trying to rationalize myself right back to it, and to me that's not a sign of beating an addiction, that's the addiction trying to creep back in. I realized it for what it was, and opted not to.
After several months I did finally replace my cell phone at my husbands request. Since I frequently travel with the children, it is nice to have in the event of an emergency. (Here we are, right back to square one with the "emergency" cell phone...) We got a very simple cell phone that looks as though it fell right out of the early 2000's. No touch screen. No internet. No apps. No pictures. It does have a freakishly large antenna and a radio, which my kids find absolutely hilarious. For weeks we ran around being silly with the antanae up saying, "Can you hear me now? Goood...." I think it was even funnier for Dad and I, because we understood the reference, lol, the kids just found humor in the ancient cell phone. And even though it's mom's "emergency" cell phone the kids sometimes text their friends on it (we are the evil parents who don't let our kids have cell phones, deal with it.), and we sometimes play f1 racing on it. It's even more basic than snake, lol, but you know what? It gets the job done.
And I leave you with this last thought...
Monday night I had 2 of daughters home and we had already finished all our priorities for school and home so we decided to go to the park. I didn't feel like looking around the house for my phone, and the park was just right down the road so I didn't bring it. It's funny, but when all a phone can do is call or text you get a LOT LESS attatched to it! Sofie, Lizzie, and I went to the park and we had ourselves a great time. That being said, I was totally horrified by what I saw around me. I was LITERALLY the ONLY mom at the park not face deep in her phone. Even the young mom with 2 toddling twins went constantly back and forth from snapping pictures of her babies running around on play equipment to typing away face deep in it. I couldn't imagine my Sofie running around on something like that without me watching like a hawk. And please try to understand, I'm not calling this young mom a bad mother by any stretch of the means, just a distracted one..and that she was. They all were.
And then it hit the fan. A boy jumped off a swing, and as he landed some of the moms looked up from the phone with that deadly "better not have been my kid" look on their face. Then you hear a mom begin shouting and cursing at her son, who promptly fires cussing and yelling right back. Then the mom looks back down at her phone, and the boy goes back to swinging. I could not believe my eyes. I couldn't believe they were still there. As he got back on the swings i heard him ask his friends if any of their moms talk to them like that, to which I heard many soft "no"s. I felt so bad for this kid, and I couldn't help but wonder if his mother would have a bit more patience and brains about her if she'd put that damn phone down, pardon my language.
It's time to pay attention.
